You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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