somebody snuck up and got me drunk
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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