I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
