This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
