My friends, they love my intelligence
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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