Dual....:-)
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
