there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
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We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
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On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize