On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
