My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
