I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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