I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
