ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
