Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
