He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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