we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
