Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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