If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
