Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
