yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize