is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize