She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
that may or may not have been my penis.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
