I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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