It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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