I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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