just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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