And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
do nipples grow back?
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