she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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