their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
