hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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