all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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