we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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