he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
