he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
