dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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