I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
