If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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