You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
