her facebook's as public as her vagina
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
