All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
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Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
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Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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