I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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