I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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