the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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