you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize