so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
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have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
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I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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