we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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