you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I will pee on everything he values.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
