you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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