I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
