Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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