Swine flu. Run for my life!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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