Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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