Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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