I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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