Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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