I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
