My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
