HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
