You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize