It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
