Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
