my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
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When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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