A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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