Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
