I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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