I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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