i don't like sucking hair
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
