Don't you send me to vm
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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