i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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