this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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