Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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