How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
