How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
