I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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