I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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